Be Yourself

I read a sign the other day that said,
“If you’re a jerk, don’t be yourself.”

I laughed out loud because…well…it’s funny. We live in a world that is constantly telling us to, “just be yourself.” “Don’t be like anyone else, just be you.” “You do you.”

But the truth is, some people shouldn’t be themselves. Some people are just jerks.

This quotation reminded me of another one by Oscar Wilde that says,
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

It’s one of my favorites because I need the reminder to “be myself” more often than I’d like to admit. I feel too old to need reminders like this. But it doesn’t take too long to find myself trying to be someone else.

I grew up imitating everyone. In some ways, I don’t think I really know who I was. If I hung out with one group of friends I found myself wearing the clothes they wore, speaking the lingo they used, and even emulating the mannerisms displayed. I found myself changing every time I hung out with a different friend group.

Some would say it’s just adolescence. It goes without saying, I was certainly influenced by my friends. Peer pressure was a real thing for me. Why? Well, I think because deep down inside I wanted to be liked. And maybe even deeper than that…..I wanted to be loved. If I did what they did, if I was more like them, then maybe they’d like me…maybe they’d actually love me.

It seems like a very needy thing to say, but if we explore the depths of our hearts we would probably all agree this is a basic need that is often neglected. Maybe because we weren’t told enough as children, maybe it wasn’t shown to you. Or maybe you are wired in such a way that needs a reminder like this everyday. If that’s you, you’re not alone. I try to pretend like I don’t need it, but I do.

I want to encourage you to surround yourself with people who you can be honest with and tell them this is how you’re wired. Don’t be embarrassed to just say it like it is. It might sound vain. It might sound immature. It might even be an admission of insecurities and shortcomings….but…..maybe it’s exactly what you need to do. Maybe you should stop reading this and go do that. Just know that I understand how it feels. So, go be you….the real you….because everyone else is already taken.